Beyond the Hustle: Lessons Learned as a Coach with The Flow Research Collective

“I’m doing everything right, but I still feel like I’m falling short.”

These were the first words a client—a CEO running a multimillion-dollar company—said to me on our call. He worked long hours, hit his goals, and had the kind of resume that most people dream of. But despite all that, he felt constantly stuck. Burned out. Uninspired.

“Push harder, work longer, sacrifice more.” High performers love to talk about grinding. It’s the mantra we’ve been sold for decades. But here’s the truth: grinding harder isn’t the secret to peak performance—it’s the fastest path to burnout.

For the last four years, I’ve had the opportunity to work with the global training and research company, The Flow Research Collective, as a high-performance coach and trainer, and I want to share a few of the key insights I’ve learned in coaching hundreds of elite performers.

1. Flow Is a Cycle with Four Stages

One of the biggest misconceptions about flow is that it’s just a fleeting moment of peak performance. In reality, flow is a cycle with four distinct stages, each playing a crucial role in accessing and sustaining flow:

• Struggle: The frustrating, effortful phase where your brain wrestles with a challenge.
• Release: Letting go—whether through movement, relaxation, or shifting focus—to allow insights to emerge.
• Flow: The peak performance state, where focus sharpens, creativity surges, and work feels effortless.
• Recovery: Essential downtime that consolidates learning, replenishes neurochemicals, and prepares you for the next cycle.

Most high performers resist the struggle phase, thinking they’re failing when they hit resistance. But in reality, struggle is a necessary precursor to flow. Knowing where you are in the cycle helps you move through it with intention—so you don’t stay stuck or burn out before reaching your peak.

2. Flow Has Psychological Triggers—Individually and in Groups

Flow doesn’t happen by accident—it’s triggered. Over the years, research has identified specific psychological triggers that set the brain up for flow, both at the individual and group level.

• Individual Triggers include clear goals, immediate feedback, and the challenge-skills balance, to name a few. These elements create deep focus and engagement.
• Group Flow Triggers include open communication, shared goals, and deep trust among team members. When a team is aligned and fully present, they can experience group flow—where ideas flow seamlessly, time disappears, and collective performance soars.

I’ve seen entire teams transform just by optimizing for these triggers. One startup I worked with struggled with misalignment and disconnection. By clarifying roles, setting shared objectives, and improving feedback loops, they shifted from frustration to high-performance collaboration—experiencing group flow consistently.

3. Even the Most Successful People Struggle with the Same Challenges

Over the years, I’ve worked with CEOs, professional athletes, Navy SEALs, and top creatives, and despite their external success, they all struggle with the same core challenges:

• Overwhelm from too many competing priorities.
• Lack of focus due to constant distractions.
• Burnout from overworking and neglecting recovery.
• Fear of failure, which blocks risk-taking and creativity.

The difference between those who break through and those who stay stuck? The ability to work with these challenges instead of fighting against them. The most successful people learn how to manage their energy, structure their work for deep focus, and lean into the flow cycle to perform at their best without self-sabotage.

4. The Grind Culture Leads to Burnout—Not Peak Performance

Many high performers buy into the myth that working harder and pushing through exhaustion is the key to success. As a young business owner, I had a similar mindset. But performance neuroscience research tells a different story.

The harder you push, the more you flood your brain with cortisol—the stress hormone that shuts down creativity, problem-solving, and focus. Flow can’t emerge in a state of chronic stress. Instead, top performers learn to:

• Work in focused sprints, not endless marathons.
• Prioritize active recovery—like exercise, deep rest, and creative play.
• Optimize their work for flow triggers instead of forcing productivity.

I’ve coached clients who were at the brink of burnout and thought rest was a weakness. When they finally embraced the power of recovery, their performance didn’t decline—it skyrocketed.

5. Ultimately, People Want Fulfillment and Meaning—Not Just Success

High performance isn’t just about hitting bigger goals or making more money—it’s about doing meaningful work that lights you up.

At the core of flow science is something deeper: intrinsic motivation—and the idea that we do our best work when we’re fully engaged, driven by curiosity, passion, and purpose.

I’ve worked with leaders who “had it all” on paper but felt empty inside. They were chasing external markers of success without asking, What actually excites me? The real secret to sustainable peak performance isn’t just about optimizing productivity—it’s about aligning your work with something that matters.

Working with The Flow Research Collective has shown me that flow isn’t just a performance hack—it’s the foundation of sustainable success, creativity, and meaning. When you understand the flow cycle, use the right triggers, and break free from the grind mentality, you unlock a way of working that is both fulfilling and extraordinarily effective.

If you’re ready to learn how to access flow intentionally, navigate its stages, and unlock your full potential, let’s talk. Peak performance isn’t about working harder—it’s about learning to flow.